Piano

Elena has been taking piano lessons, roughly once a week, for a few months now.  It is going very well.  It was a very very rough start, though.

Elena had been asking to take piano and voice lessons for quite some time.  I wanted to schedule some, but there just wasn't time--nearly everything I could find was on a school night and time is precious on those afternoons/evenings.  We decided to try late afternoon on Friday, b/c there was an opening at a well-recommended teacher's home.

Jason and I were looking for something that Elena wanted to do, that she could explore, that wasn't physical.  She seems to enjoy music, so that was a plus.  I liked the fact that music is both a right and left brained activity--it's artistic, but also mathematic.  And I liked the idea of Elena using her hands in a different way.  We were all cautiously excited.

All of us had a lot of learning to do.  (Keep in mind that neither Jason nor I are musically inclined.  I played several instruments in my youth, but never well, and never really learned how to read music.)

Nicole is an incredibly enthusiastic teacher and vibrantly engages her students.  Elena loves seeing her so excited, and feels a great sense of accomplishment.  Nicole was initially, maybe, too excited.  Elena kept telling us how "easy" everything was, and never wanted to practice.  I did not want to make her practice, b/c I didn't want it to be another thing I was nagging her to do.  In the beginning, practice wasn't something Elena could readily do because our (large) electric piano did not have an easily accessible resting place.  We would clear off the table and have her use it there, and she wasn't really interested.  So we didn't push it.

It became obvious to me, after several lessons, that Elena did not understand what was on the written page.  Her rhythm (in general) is not steady--that could be due to poor trunk strength/stability when clapping or tapping feet--but the difference in quarter and half notes was not something she picked up immediately.  She also had issues following the music--the idea of the treble and bass clefs flowing as a unit was lost (she was looking at them more like reading a book, "one line at a time").  She became frustrated, refused to practice at home, and cried a lot.  Jason and I tried to be patient--but her wanting help and at the same time refusing to listen or work with us became problematic.  I spoke to the teacher about our frustration, and told her I was going to take a back-seat and see what the two of them could work out.

None of this seemed a deal-breaker to me; music is complicated.  It's a different language, with hand-eye coordination, repeating letters (notes) that have the same shape on different assignments on different clefs, and if your eyes leave the page it's easy to get lost.  It's so different than anything else.  It was a real eye-opener for Jason and I, to see Elena's learning process in action.

One day there was a breaking point.  I told Elena that I was not going to pay for lessons if she refused to practice at home.  I rearranged the furniture and found a place for the piano to live, where she could easily access it whenever she wanted.  It was obvious at her lessons that she didn't know what was going on, and Nicole called her on it--she told her lessons were where she was supposed to learn new things, not only review what they did before.  Elena barely kept back tears and said she didn't know what the note was on the page, or she couldn't follow where she was.  Nicole managed to turn E's attitude around a bit, and finished her lesson.

That evening, E was determined to practice.  So I sat with her.  We talked a lot about what was on the page.  Obviously, people don't always learn things the same way--but Elena learns music a lot differently than I do, but once we figured out what worked for her, it worked beautifully.  It took a lot of time and patience.

Jason and I wanted an activity that Elena chose that didn't have to be so hard.  Piano was not the best choice for that.  Music is complicated, and our idea that piano wasn't physical was dead wrong.  It takes good posture, core strength, finger strength and overall hand dexterity--all things that Elena lacks, and she could use a fun channel to improve those deficiencies.  Now that we found what information Elena needs to be successful (it's hard to explain--she needs the letter note and a sort of orientation of where that note is on the scale, rather than just to hear it and figure it out from there) she is really enjoying piano.  She sits down to practice several times a day, unprompted.  Her practice is anywhere from 2-20 minutes, typically less than ten each time she sits down to play.  She loves going to lessons, and is making great progress.

The entire family has learned a lot though piano lessons.  One, that an activity that is not cardio-vascular in nature does not exclude it from being physically demanding.  Two, Elena does not typically ask for help when she is lost.  We are working on this in terms of self-advocacy; I noticed this with her academics at about the same time.  It's actually nice to have a musical, fun way of reinforcing this idea of responsibility for practice, problem solving, and seeking help.  Three, making the piano freely accessible relieves most of the parental pressure from the responsibility of practice.

She really does enjoy music, and continued to ask for voice lessons.  I rearranged her schedule, moved her longstanding regular PT date, and postponed tutoring so she could join the Glee club at school.  It starts tomorrow.  I think she'll love it!

Second Grade in Review

This post has been a long time coming, but I just couldn't find the right words.  Instead of trying to be perfect, I'll just try to get the post up.

Second grade, in a nutshell, was fabulous.  She stayed with her first grade teacher--almost his whole class did, as he requested to "loop" with the class over a period of years.  I believe this is common in Waldorf-style teaching, where one teacher stays with the class for a long time.  I was excited about this almost from the beginning--Mr. Matt is a wonderful teacher, and I knew Elena would benefit from more time with him.  An added bonus was I didn't have to get a new teacher familiar with Elena and her challenges, which was a huge relief.  The best thing about a great looping teacher is they know your child's strengths and weaknesses, and have more time to address this.  The class has a great understanding of each other and there was a very special vibe in that room.

Matt respects the kids, and helps them figure out their own problems and find solutions.  He gives them a great amount of choice in the classroom, and fosters critical thinking--something I think is missing in schools across America.  He treated Elena like any other kid in the classroom--as much as he could.  Sometimes she had to have special seating, or extra time to get around.  She did have (and sometimes expected) extra help carrying things and cleaning up, but was reprimanded if she waited around for her aide before starting those activities.  Elena's aide had two other kids in the classroom she had to pay attention to--so E did not have her undivided attention like last year.

The best parts I witnessed when I got to visit the school were the everyday activities...seeing her get into the mix in P.E. (and her classmates playing with her, even though she didn't move like they did), hearing "Hi Elena!" countless times in the hallway (I've never seen most of these kids), watching her run and play (with her crutches) with her girlfriends during recess, seeing her do a project with a classmate.  Acceptance, friendship, learning, play, challenge, support, excitement, laughter were everyday events.  Super Awesome.

Academically, Elena struggled (struggles?) a bit.  Overall her scores were very good--great even, and we are very thankful for that.  The biggest realization was she really needs proper seating to work well at a table or desk, and she didn't always choose a good seating position.  She also had (has?) problems understanding certain math concepts.  This is tricky, because Matt teaches "number sense" rather than just "rote math" (the way I learned it).  I feel very strongly that "number sense" is a better way to teach mathematics--relationships between numbers, "what's larger and smaller", "what's in the middle", counting by 2s, 3s, 10s, etc., and a different way of looking at place value.  I think it's better--provided the child can connect the pieces by the end of the year.  Elena didn't.  She had some of it, but I think she just got confused.  And frustrated.  Jason and I never had an issue learning math concepts until high school (I did have an issue with long division for a short while), so we couldn't figure out why she didn't get it--and I was afraid to start teaching her a new way.  We decided to get her a 2nd grade math book for rote math work, and spent more time working on sample problems Matt brought home.  We also got her a recommended tutor for the summer (we call him the Math Coach) and Elena LOVES him, and I think they are working well to connect the number sense pieces together so E is ready for third grade.

Another thing we noticed is Elena's artwork/choice time.  She likes to draw and build things (houses, like a room layout for a paper doll) but I noticed it was always two-dimensional.  Houses were always drawn and built like a perimeter (even with legos), as well as furniture and creatures living in them.  It's weird to me she would choose to do that so often, especially as she has some fine motor issues (it takes her effort to pick up small flat pieces of paper, for instance).  This "2-D" rendering made me wonder about her ability to see things in three-dimensional space.  I know she can--she can throw and kick, hit a ball with a bat, she can catch and aim.  I think it has something to do with core strength--her arms are almost always by her sides (walking with crutches), and rarely out from her torso (airplane arms, or holding an invisible beach ball).  I read some studies that talk about fine motor skills and the strong correlation of understanding math concepts, and wondered if that was one of our problems.  It doesn't mean that people who lack fine motor skills CAN'T learn math easily--it has to do with a different method of thinking about space and conceptualizing something you can't see--opening up the brain to a different way of thinking, if you will.

That's where I got the idea of our Big, Messy Summer.  I want E to use her hands, get her arms away from her body, make something BIG and creative and fun and crazy.  Swimming and horseback riding are helping, of course.   If you have any other suggestions, let me know!

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day! For us, it was just a normal day--trying to get E exercised, me going to work, trying to clean the house up. Honestly, to plan something super duper special was just more work than Jason and I could handle!

E and I did make a cake, though. I let her decorate it. With A LOT of icing. And a candle. Hmm....yum?