7th grade: observations and obstacles

Prepare yourselves for a long post! Honestly, I'm not sure how to organize this...here goes.

Elena started seventh grade this year. Fall is always a difficult time; there's the end-of-the-summer blues, the excitement of a new school year, the change in schedule, and the constant issue of time management--those issues are typical. On top of this, Elena has a slew of others: worsening crouch (happens every fall), time crunch, increased responsibilities (see time crunch), struggling independence (wants it, but has issues carrying, keeping up, etc.). I am trying to navigate technical resources (online school curriculum, social media for tweens, assistive technology), and give the right assistance when needed, teach her to be responsible, and give Elena the fun time she wants and deserves. It's challenging, to put it mildly.

Social/Fun time/Time Management
I let all Elena's educators know that social interaction was going to be a huge focus this year. I want her to enjoy her school, extra-curricular activities, and spending time with her classmates. Unfortunately, as a parent, it can be difficult to know what is available for kids around school groups--they are typically not posted online, or sent home as paper flyers. Normally they are advertised on school grounds or during the school announcements--this means I have to depend on Elena to not only pay attention, but also relay the message to me on time about what she is interested in doing. Sounds easy, but it never happened last year, in part, b/c of her leaving early to get to her next class or for school dismissal. We stressed at home for E to pay attention this year to what was being offered. She did, and wanted to do everything--a girl after my own heart. So we had to make a few choices.

Elena was in the Honor Choir last year and loved it. This year, she auditioned again for the elite choir (Honor Choir is a different group)--and she made the cut. They practice 3x/week before school, as well as performances out of school. It's a huge commitment, and has other difficulties (standing for long periods, dress uniform), but the director and I are in good communication and we're making it work. She has to keep up her grades and conduct in order to stay in the elite choir.

She also wanted to join two other groups--a gaming group (Tuesdays before school) and the radio/announcement (audio/visual) group. We asked her to pick one, and she chose the gaming group.

After school she has PT 1x/week, and she has Psych services about once every two weeks. We are looking to phase out psych, but honestly, I'm not sure if we are ready for that. We are still expected to do stretches every night, and the best way to help with her crouch is her TherEx regimen (takes about 20min/day), and we are failing miserably at fitting these in, and she's also supposed to be working on being more helpful around the house (but honestly there is no time for her to help with dinner, or learn to do her own laundry, etc.).

So. How to fit all this in with homework--that's the question, right?

She typically has a math worksheet daily (she was placed in an Advanced Math class this year, and it's tough for her), and two long-term projects (one for Language Arts and one for Science) that require planning and daily reading or writing. It's crucial that Elena not wait until the last minute; she cannot "hurry up" and she reaches an hour of the evening (earlier than her peers, I imagine) where she is no longer productive. She also has up to 9 online math modules to finish per week. She *has* to shower in the evenings, as her morning extracurriculars require her to rise early.

It sounds like a lot. It can be, but honestly, I think it's manageable if you work at a typical speed--which Elena does not. I help by having Elena report everything due for the week (typically assigned on a Monday) and put it on two calendars--one for the month, and one for the week. Her math is hard for her, so she gets a lot of supervision/instruction from us. She does well with her LA and Science homework. She does not triage homework well (executive function alert!) and I can't help her unless she tells me all of her expected assignments--and several slip through the cracks. She has a homework notebook to write down assignments, and only uses it part of the time. Not every teacher posts assignments online, so I must rely on Elena to tell me what is due.

Personal responsibility is key here. Her teachers know of Elena's work pace, and understand that we are doing what we can 1) without trying to make her miserable and 2) giving her some fun time (not much in the evenings, I confess) and I have no problem asking for extra time. Elena occasionally self-sabotages evenings (meltdowns concerning homework, wasting time--executive function again), resulting in a miserable night for everyone here (hence the psych services, which is also helping with executive function).

Assistive Technology/School Help
In order to try to help E increase her efficiency, I've asked her AT team to give us some tools and teach both Elena and myself how to use them. Her online math modules were extremely frustrating for her, in part b/c the type is hard to read (especially with a visual processing issue) so they taught her a shortcut for a magnifier that doesn't impede the use of the program. I think that really helps (when she uses it). The other one that we are using right now is Snap and Read, which creates an outline and references while doing online work. E is starting to use it (she needs to be in the right browser, and of course her digital material uses different ones) and I think it will serve her well.

Elena uses homeroom time to work on homework or to finish classwork that required extra time. (All kids use homeroom time for stuff like this, or reading). I have her pulled 2x/week to work with her math teacher, and 1x/week to work with her LA teacher (E approves this). There is also available math tutoring on most Thursdays before school--Elena has taken advantage of this already.

Independence/Carrying/Peers
Elena is very small for a middle schooler. She can carry her backpack, but in the morning, the pack is at its heaviest; water bottle (for chorus; only part-full), lunch, notebooks; her school computer is only carried in the beginning of the day (it's left at school; we have one for home use, one for school use). She wants to carry her things, b/c that's what other students do. She wants to be independent. BUT when the pack is heavy (and since she's only ~60 lbs, it's heavy for her) it saps her energy as the day continues (as does spasticity). Maintaining energy is a constant struggle--I can tell after a long day, with a heavy backpack, and a strenuous gym class--she looks terrible when I pick her up at the end of the day. (I drive her to and from school to save us about an hour a day of travel time). To save her energy, I ask her aide to carry her backpack--or sometimes, a student (getting to early morning chorus). I know E would rather do it on her own; she knows when she is out of energy, and sometimes it's a bad scene (bad crouch, falls). I don't know how to give her the independence she craves without making everything "ultralite" in her backpack--which will lose ruggedness, cost more, and be unsupported technologically by the school district. And that's just the backpack; carrying other future things (cell phone, keys, money, sunglasses, etc.) that should be accessible is another story. We've been working on Pockets for a while. That's for another post.
Elena and I have talked a lot about independence and school, and in general, she is ultimately in charge with the expectation of being safe and as capable as possible. This translates as help carrying in the morning/when backpack is heavy, and Elena carrying when it is light/end of the day. If she insists on doing it herself, everyone is to let her; the school team understands that ultimately it is E's decision.

Any advice out there, blogland? I'd love time management tips, carrying ideas (that's the next post!), ideas for streamlining homework, etc. If I could keep time in a bottle I'd be a bajillionaire!

Second Grade in Review

This post has been a long time coming, but I just couldn't find the right words.  Instead of trying to be perfect, I'll just try to get the post up.

Second grade, in a nutshell, was fabulous.  She stayed with her first grade teacher--almost his whole class did, as he requested to "loop" with the class over a period of years.  I believe this is common in Waldorf-style teaching, where one teacher stays with the class for a long time.  I was excited about this almost from the beginning--Mr. Matt is a wonderful teacher, and I knew Elena would benefit from more time with him.  An added bonus was I didn't have to get a new teacher familiar with Elena and her challenges, which was a huge relief.  The best thing about a great looping teacher is they know your child's strengths and weaknesses, and have more time to address this.  The class has a great understanding of each other and there was a very special vibe in that room.

Matt respects the kids, and helps them figure out their own problems and find solutions.  He gives them a great amount of choice in the classroom, and fosters critical thinking--something I think is missing in schools across America.  He treated Elena like any other kid in the classroom--as much as he could.  Sometimes she had to have special seating, or extra time to get around.  She did have (and sometimes expected) extra help carrying things and cleaning up, but was reprimanded if she waited around for her aide before starting those activities.  Elena's aide had two other kids in the classroom she had to pay attention to--so E did not have her undivided attention like last year.

The best parts I witnessed when I got to visit the school were the everyday activities...seeing her get into the mix in P.E. (and her classmates playing with her, even though she didn't move like they did), hearing "Hi Elena!" countless times in the hallway (I've never seen most of these kids), watching her run and play (with her crutches) with her girlfriends during recess, seeing her do a project with a classmate.  Acceptance, friendship, learning, play, challenge, support, excitement, laughter were everyday events.  Super Awesome.

Academically, Elena struggled (struggles?) a bit.  Overall her scores were very good--great even, and we are very thankful for that.  The biggest realization was she really needs proper seating to work well at a table or desk, and she didn't always choose a good seating position.  She also had (has?) problems understanding certain math concepts.  This is tricky, because Matt teaches "number sense" rather than just "rote math" (the way I learned it).  I feel very strongly that "number sense" is a better way to teach mathematics--relationships between numbers, "what's larger and smaller", "what's in the middle", counting by 2s, 3s, 10s, etc., and a different way of looking at place value.  I think it's better--provided the child can connect the pieces by the end of the year.  Elena didn't.  She had some of it, but I think she just got confused.  And frustrated.  Jason and I never had an issue learning math concepts until high school (I did have an issue with long division for a short while), so we couldn't figure out why she didn't get it--and I was afraid to start teaching her a new way.  We decided to get her a 2nd grade math book for rote math work, and spent more time working on sample problems Matt brought home.  We also got her a recommended tutor for the summer (we call him the Math Coach) and Elena LOVES him, and I think they are working well to connect the number sense pieces together so E is ready for third grade.

Another thing we noticed is Elena's artwork/choice time.  She likes to draw and build things (houses, like a room layout for a paper doll) but I noticed it was always two-dimensional.  Houses were always drawn and built like a perimeter (even with legos), as well as furniture and creatures living in them.  It's weird to me she would choose to do that so often, especially as she has some fine motor issues (it takes her effort to pick up small flat pieces of paper, for instance).  This "2-D" rendering made me wonder about her ability to see things in three-dimensional space.  I know she can--she can throw and kick, hit a ball with a bat, she can catch and aim.  I think it has something to do with core strength--her arms are almost always by her sides (walking with crutches), and rarely out from her torso (airplane arms, or holding an invisible beach ball).  I read some studies that talk about fine motor skills and the strong correlation of understanding math concepts, and wondered if that was one of our problems.  It doesn't mean that people who lack fine motor skills CAN'T learn math easily--it has to do with a different method of thinking about space and conceptualizing something you can't see--opening up the brain to a different way of thinking, if you will.

That's where I got the idea of our Big, Messy Summer.  I want E to use her hands, get her arms away from her body, make something BIG and creative and fun and crazy.  Swimming and horseback riding are helping, of course.   If you have any other suggestions, let me know!