End of Summer Wrap-Up

Time has flown by again. So here's the recap (I have a lot to write about since school started!).

Solar Eclipse
We all enjoyed the solar eclipse from our front porch. The kids had friends over, and they kept darting in and out, watching through our shields/solar glasses. My family loves astronomy, so this was a special treat!

Eclipsin'

First day of school! 

Vivian: 3rd Grade

Elena: 7th Grade

The beginning of school is always a rough transition...the girls felt like they were ready for school (they were) but not ready for the summer to end (we were pretty busy, in the best way--but maybe not enough lazy time?). More on that later.


Kayaking
We were lucky to spend a spur-of-the-moment kayaking day with our friends the N family! I snagged a spot for myself and the girls (Jason was out of town) on tandem kayaks (Viv went with TN). It was PERFECT. The weather was great, the kayak outfitters were so kind and helpful, there was transportation to/from the boat launch, and everyone had their fair share of paddling, swimming, wildlife watching, ropeswinging, getting stuck on rocks, and riding "rapids". Seriously it was perfect. We cannot wait to go again (the kids are begging to kayak again)--but there hasn't been enough rain.

Viv swam to our boat for a picture

Sherando Lake
The following day we joined our friends the S-R family during their annual camping weekend. It rained most of that weekend, so we declined camping (hence the kayaking) but managed to spend the nicest day of the weekend out there. The girls were excited to play with friends, especially in the (COLD) lake.

Makeshift rowboat is much harder than paddling a kayak

We also met a very nice gentleman, Bill, volunteering at the campgrounds, who helped our girls fish.
After everyone caught a fish, we finally headed home.

Clyde
As we were getting in the van on our way to school, I found this little guy in the grass right before the lawn mowers came through! We named him (her?) Clyde.

Box Turtle hatchling!

We've never seen a box turtle so tiny! We released him close to where we found him--but without the threat of giant cutting machines. Good luck buddy!

Third Grade Campout

Elena's school has an overnight camping trip every year for the third graders.  This year, it was almost 50 kids.  I can't say enough how great these young people are.

I went as an overnight chaperone; it was unspoken, but understood, that I would be there mostly to help Elena.  There were plenty of other parents there, and almost everyone knows us (Elena is hard to miss).

Camping is not an easy task for us; Elena can't carry her gear, she requires extra help, and is slow on difficult terrain.  But she loves it.  I love that she loves it.  This site has cabins and bathrooms, which was a huge bonus for me.  But it rained A LOT.

The kids had a great time despite the weather.  They played all sorts of tag/chase games (not a good fit for Elena), had board games, crafts, and general outside time when not structured with school activities.  Elena's favorite was dissecting owl pellets--hers actually had a very large rodent skull, and she was super excited to show and tell us all about it!

I arrived in the late afternoon (after everyone had been there a few hours).  I dressed Elena in her Muddy Buddy outfit--since she's prone to falling in slippery/uneven terrain, and it's waterproof.  She loves it, as it basically gives her permission to get as messy as possible.  The only wet part of her was her shoes--a big difference from her waterlogged classmates (and other chaperones, including me).

Rainy Day Action Wear!

Bunkmates

The evening activity, after dinner, revolved around the campfire--which, amazingly, did take place thanks to SB keeping the firewood dry during the rain.  Prior to the fire start, the students were put into groups to think of a name for themselves and perform a skit.  I loved them all--they were very creative, and was pleased how happy Elena was to be in her performance!  Earlier in the day each student drew a name of a classmate; they made a bracelet for them, and had to write something (positive things) about that person.  There was a campfire ceremony where the kids read aloud their message about a classmate.  We sang songs and made s'mores.

Pre-Campfire Conga Line

Throughout the day and into the next, Elena was tired; her stance was poor most of the time.  I had a log for her to sit on, or I knelt beside her and she used me as a chair.  She wasn't the only one; there were a lot of yawners, and I was actually quite comforted when Q fell asleep during the bracelet ceremony, sprawled all over his dad.  When nine o'clock rolled around, the girls in our cabin fell asleep fast.

We had a fabulous time.  These kids are amazing--it is obvious they care about each other.  I am always surprised by this.  I shouldn't be--it's a discredit to Elena's classmates, educators, and their families.  Maybe in a world where I hear about so much bullying on the news, or emails where inclusion is a constant fight, it's hard to believe our experience is real.  That's a testament to this school, staff, students, parents, and neighbors--a good reality check.  Thanks everyone!

Third Grade Grades...and Tests

So, here's the short story.  E is mainstreamed in school, and is doing well (I think, anyway).  Jason and I were most worried about her social integration and psychological well-being.  Her academics seemed to be coming along fine.  Once her language emerged (age 2.5 years, before that she was essentially mute and we used sign language) things started to fall into place--she could talk to her peers, reading came easily, as well as counting and simple number play.

Surprisingly--and to our great relief--the staff and students at school have been very welcoming, and as far as Jason and I can tell, Elena's social development is going very well.  When I visit school, she is smiling, playing with her classmates, and running and keeping up as best she can at recess.  It makes me want to cry, it makes me so happy.

Her grades (if you can call them grades, right now they are numbers) are good.  It is obvious she has some difficulties in math.  We have a private tutor that she loves.

Third grade has more standardized tests than any other grade in public school (I think this is right; I may need to check).  Part of it is beta-testing for future students, part of it is getting kids used to tests, part of it is the government issued mandate.  Personally, I do not have a problem with standardized tests--I understand that there needs to be a way for teachers to evaluate and report what their students know.  Most teachers I know do not like standardized tests--but what is the alternative?  Teachers are expected to do so much already, how can society expect them to find a test that "works" on an individual basis?  And with what "spare" time?

That being said, Elena had her first mid year tests.  She bombed them. 

The first problem was...well, she had a complete, full-on meltdown at the beginning of the first test.  Crying, moaning, disrupting every other student, inconsolable.  I don't know why, either.  I know it isn't pressure from Jason and I, because neither of us were aware that the test was even happening (we probably should have) and any other test she's done well or okay on, and we get the results late anyway.   I wasn't there, but I know how it goes--we had this during our nighttime issues.  I got a call from the teacher--and the principal.

My guess is that is her reaction when she is overwhelmed, and doesn't have a coping mechanism to calm down.  At home, we have completely tamed this beast at night (and almost any other time) but our go-to is disengagement (Ferber method) over time--and we rarely have to do that any more.  Regardless, that simply won't work in school, and won't work for tests in general.

As for that test on the first day, she started it late, and was allowed to do it on paper (it was a math test) instead of the computer.  (I understand that the computer element can increase the difficulty for a lot of kids).  The second day (language arts), she had another meltdown (maybe not as bad?) but they had her in a room by herself and one teacher.  That teacher is on her IEP team, and got a little information out of her (see later in the post).

I'm not upset about the tests.  I am super upset about her emotional state of mind and her disruption of other students.  The principal, her teacher, and others on her team and I have spoken about what to do next.  The first thing that came to mind was special accommodations--which I am not immediately a fan of, since I feel this is more of a lifelong skill of emotional management, or the hope that more exposure to tests will lesson her extreme response.  I am not against accommodations (written vs. computer, extra time, individual or smaller group testing sessions, etc.) in general--but I only want them if Elena actually needs them.  To quote the principal, no one wants to "over-accommodate her" but all of us want her (and the rest of the students) to be in the right environment to do their best.

So we start the process to figure out exactly what that means.

For some reason, one which I have never seen myself or even heard about until the teacher/principal phonecalls, Elena is panicked about tests.  We've talked about it at home, but I don't have a clue why she's so worried about it.  I feel like if she could find a way to calm down, have confidence in herself, and cut herself a break, she would do fine.  Is she that worried about disappointing us?  I certainly hope not!

So, here is what I learned (in no particular order):

1.  She knows she didn't do well on the two tests.  She also knows we're not mad at the grades (we are upset at her behavior).  She knows she needs to change her behavior and that we are willing to help/support her (as are her educators).

2.  She knows she'll probably have after-school help (tutors) to figure out how to improve her performance.  This is actually a huge bonus, b/c they will also help/guide with homework, which means she'll have MORE free time at home b/c she drags her feet doing it until the last minute.  She does not seem upset about this.

3.  She also knows I'm not going to shove tutors in her face at every opportunity.  Elena needs outlets that are just fun.

4.  The goal of initiative comes into play here--not speed, but the idea of starting on time.  Finding less distraction, and a focus on the start (maybe we'll need focus in the middle and end, but the start is what I'm looking for here).  Elena is getting the idea that she is accountable for this.

5.  Elena needs to advocate for herself.  She was prompted with "are you uncomfortable?" and she answered "my legs hurt if I sit too long" WHICH IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER HEARD THIS IN HER ENTIRE LIFE, except right after surgery.  I was shocked to the core--mostly b/c IF this is true, it needs to be changed immediately, and if she was just using it as an excuse, completely unacceptable.  She is learning, especially in a testing environment (but in school in general) that if she needs something to be more successful, she may (or she should) ask about it--because other people can't read her mind.

6.  If I was still working, I would have not responded to this as quickly.  I think Elena needs me.  I want to be that positive force for her, to support her when she needs it.

Welcome to Third Grade

Even though things are going well right now, I can't help but have concerns about third grade.

Before I go into this, let me sum up my concerns regarding Elena in previous years:

Public Pre-K:  Will Elena be accepted by her peers?  YES.  Will her teachers be able to handle integrating her in the classroom/playground?  YES.  Will she be able to keep up academically (if you can say that, in pre-K) with her peers?  YES.  Will Elena realize she is different?  YES.

Kindergarten:  Will Elena be accepted by her peers?  YES.  Will she be able to navigate her new surroundings?  YES.  Will she enjoy the bus?  YES.  Will she fit in socially, as the kids grow older?  YES.  Will others tease her? NO.  Will she keep up academically?  YES.

First Grade:  Will Elena be accepted by her peers?  YES.  Will she be able to navigate her new surroundings?  YES.  Will she fit in socially, as the kids grow older?  YES.  Will others tease her? NO.  Will she keep up academically?  YES.

Second Grade:  Will Elena be accepted by her peers?  YES.  Will she be able to navigate her new surroundings?  YES.  Will she fit in socially, as the kids grow older?  YES.  Will others tease her? YES.  Will she be able to handle this?  YES.  Will she keep up academically?  MOSTLY.  

Elena had a great year in second grade, and I learned several important lessons.  One, she absolutely needs to be in a good seating arrangement to do her best work.  Her second grade classroom offered a lot of choices, one of them seating arrangements (kneeling, sitting, standing) and she almost always chose kneeling--and her kneel was an awkward side-kneel-slouch position where she was struggling to be comfortable and unable to use her hands to her best advantage.  Neither her teacher, nor aide,  nor I ever realized how important this was to her work at a tabletop until the end of the year.  Another deficit, if I can call it that, was she was behind in her math concepts.  They teach 'number sense' rather than rote math (how I learned it)--it's more a global approach to numbers and how they relate to each other, and I think it's absolutely a better way of learning math--provided the child can see the whole 'number sense' picture before the end of the year.  Elena had pieces, but couldn't grasp the entire concept...and Jason and I were at a loss of how to help.  We didn't want to confuse her by teaching her "our way" of doing math, so we got a tutor (Elena prefers the term "Math Coach") and having him over the summer helped IMMENSELY.  

My biggest apprehension regarding third grade is the testing.  There are more standardized tests in third grade than fourth and fifth--either b/c they are getting the kids used to it, or they are trying out new ways of testing.  Either way, Elena's few test experiences weren't all that great.  Not because her scores were terrible (they were not great), but because she thought she did fantastically, and that "it was easy".    We nodded our heads and left it at that, hoping that as the concepts (specifically, math) sunk in more her realization of her testing performance would become more accurate.  Let's hope so, anyway.

Regardless of how I might be nervous about third grade, the most important part is that Elena is enjoying learning--which she is.  She is more independent than ever, uses her crutches less than ever (only to lunch, PE, and recess), and enjoys her teacher, her subjects, and her classmates.  Her educators have always been, and continue to be, approachable and willing to work with me/her aide/her IEP/her PTs/etc. to help her succeed and integrate as seamlessly as possible.

I don't expect Third Grade to be a breeze...but there's a lot to celebrate as we approach this new challenge.

Let's do this!

Summer Roundup, beginning of school

This has been an eventful month.  It continues to be (more on that later), so this recap will have to be relatively brief if I ever have the hope of "catching up".

After we got back from our beach trip (end of July) we decided to get new kittens.  We've had this as part of our plan since the beginning of this year.  The pictures we have of our new additions seem ancient now, as they grow so fast.

KITTY PICTURE of S and T

Vivan reading to Shirley

Both Shirley and Temple are loving, playful, patient, mischievous felines.  They enjoy playing with the kids, and have integrated themselves perfectly into the family.

I was fortunate to take a day off work so SW and I could take the kids to Busch Gardens with our family friends, the Rs.  SW and I talked about how we would get around the park this year; we all decided that we would attempt the entire day on foot (our double stroller was in the car trunk if we had to go back for it).  The Rs were game, and helped work some long-range transport (skytram, park train) into our day.  Elena is a thrill-seeker, and enjoys roller coasters and other big kid/grown up rides (Viv not so much) and we all had a great time.  The weather was perfect (unlike last year, where it was unbearably hot) and the park wasn't super crowded.

Elena and Vivian take on Busch Gardens

Elena got some stares, that's nothing new.  We got lots of smiles too; strangers proud of Elena for going the distance.  I was too...she lasted ALL DAY.  As in, until the park closed.  She never fell.  We ended up being in the kid area at closing time, which happened to be at the farthest point from the park entrance.  She tried to walk back, but ran out of energy; SW and I gave Vivian and Elena piggyback rides to the car.

In "Italy"

Carousel Kids

Ring toss, team-style

E rode kiddie rides with Viv

We went camping with some friends.  Elena LOVES camping (I do not)--which I feel might be the worst fit for a kid with cerebral palsy, but we always have a good time--even in heavy rain, even in a leaky tent, even with large bears (that was last year, but I feel like I still have to mention it).  Big thanks to the R-S family, who continue to invite us even though I am always a camping novice and have no idea what I am doing out there!

Walking by the lake

At the dock

Some baseball before the rain

E pitching

Swing Batter!

Jason's pillow during the rain.  Note the Sleepian, oblivious to her non-resting parents

Elena sleeping.  That's my drenched pillow next to her.

And even though I will write a post about it separately, here is E on her first day of 3rd grade!

Looking good, girl

Modeling the homemade backpack strap that keeps her bag from slipping down her shoulders

More on Third Grade up next!