Thursday, July 22, 2010

Separation Anxiety (?) or Here We Go Again

E had Kindergarten Camp this week.

It's basically a 3-day, 2 hour/day stint to introduce rising kindergartners to their teacher, school, classroom, and potential classmates. Normally it's for kids that are new to the experience. Elena has been in public pre-K for the last two years. Last year, she was in this same school, across the hall from her new classroom. She even knew the teacher, and some of her classmates.

The first morning, it was A NIGHTMARE. It started the night before...

"Mommy, I'm going to miss you!!" and then crying/screaming/MELTDOWN ensues.

We've been through this before...each year when pre-K started, some unexplained times during the school year...for a while there, we had this at bedtime. *sigh* It doesn't get easier. I am so confused...WHY NOT?!

She even did it WORSE the second morning--that was after she admitted she had a great time the previous day at camp.

Now...you can tell me that she's nervous, or acting normal, or just isn't sure what to expect. I believe that...some if it, anyway. But E is a smart girl. SHE KNOWS. Part of her behavior is a power play. I'm not kidding.

Another part, a potentially large part, is related to her growing awareness (and vocalization regarding) being different around her able-bodied peers. And her able-bodied sister, who can now physically do everything she wants to (run, jump, snatch toys, carry large objects, climb up stairs, stand in the bathtub, etc.). This is bound to embody itself into some sort of (negative) behavior.

So I called a psychologist. Eight of them, actually, b/c I wasn't sure if anyone would get back to me (especially since no human being would answer a telephone!! ARGH!!) and I would like some advice/coping mechanism ideally before school starts at the end of August.

I think Elena is essentially a pretty normal kid in a disabled body. And that's okay. But I have a hard time believing her physical condition has zero to do with this kind of behavior. And if we end up seeing a psychologist, and they label her with some disorder--I will probably lose it. Mostly b/c I don't believe it, but also because I do NOT want another label on my kid. I mean...it's hard enough as it is. Typically, I wouldn't say that. But these past few days have been pretty tough. And honestly, today (the third and last day) it was MUCH easier. But it'll happen again...and again, probably.

3 comments:

Carol said...

Hi Amy,
I have been following Elena's story for a while now. I have a 2 1/2 yr. old grandson, Earl, with CP. You may remember, we sent E a birthday card.
Anyway, my own ablebodied daughter had a horrible time adjusting when I first had to send her to daycare at 4 almost 5 yrs old. Her father and I had just separated, I worried that had something to do with it. How does she do after you leave? If her teacher says she settles down and participates, it could be a power play. I understand your concern that it could have to do with her awareness of her disability, and your fear of another label. Earl got a new one, Apraxia, had to look that one up. It's speech delay. If you ever do get to talk to a Dr. hopefully they will just give you advise and not a label.

You do a wonderful job with E. Your determination and devotion is apparent in her progress. Thanks for sharing.

Amy said...

We just talked about Earl this weekend! He's on our Mail Board (pictures of E's mail buddies in her room).
For the record, E's fine after the "situation" is over--whether it be me leaving, or her on the bus. I've got a new post coming up about this--light at the end of the tunnel!

Anonymous said...

AMY YOU MENTIONED ABOUT E FEELING ENVIOUS OF HER YOUNGER SISTER BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS... I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM TOTALLY

MY SISTER AND I ARE 2 1/2 YEARS APART I AM THE OLDER ONE I ALWAYS STRUGGLED PHYSICALLY AND I A;SO SUGGLED IN SCHOOL WHRE MY SISTER ACCELLED IN BOTH THOSE AREAS.. I CAN UUNDERSTAND HER FUSTRATION OF NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP UP AS I HAD THAT PROBLEM AND STILL DO...

ONE THING MY PARENTS DID IS THEY ALLOWED MY SISTER MORE FREEDOM THEN ME AS WE GOT OLDER..... I HATED BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY THEN MY SISTER..

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS??

MELISSA